Home podcast 008 Elite Resiliency Seminar

008 Elite Resiliency Seminar

by Dr Hans Watson
University Elite Mental Health
University Elite Mental Health
008 Elite Resiliency Seminar

Speaker 1 00:00:08 Welcome to the university lead mental health podcast, where your host, dr. Hans Watson helps you to learn the why behind mental health issues that you or someone you love may be facing. Dr. Watson is a nationally renowned psychiatrist who is also an expert in psychotherapy, a war proven leader of the U S military. And the only person we know to be an expert in psychiatry, psychodynamics diet is leadership, trauma, addiction, marriage education, and more. That’s why he was the expert that was flown in to the other side of the country to train the therapists, treating the victims and their families. After the recent mass shootings you heard about in Florida, we are excited to help you to understand the why behind some real life situations. And now your host, dr. Hans Watson, D O all right. We want to welcome everyone to another university, elite mental health podcast.
Speaker 1 00:01:12 We’re going to forego the questions, and we’re going to be talking about resiliency because we have a very exciting resiliency workshop coming up. We want to give you a taste of what is going to be in that workshop from dr. Hans Watson and how impactful focusing and building resiliency can be in your life. And so I’m very excited about this because I haven’t heard a whole lot about it yet. I’m excited to see what I can learn. So, dr. Watson, what is going to be in this exciting workshop? Thanks, Jeremiah. Really excited about what we have coming on here, you know, for years now, um, I’ve been, I’ve been using resiliency to help people out. I, uh, I’ve worked with a lot of people who are put into military situations where they’re deployed. Um, and they, they had to learn resiliency. I’ve worked with a lot of people who come into psychotherapy outside of the military, and they’re, they’re actually, um, one of their big things is they’re just overwhelmed with all the adversity they have in their life.
Speaker 1 00:02:23 And if we’re going to be honest, many times, they can’t get rid of that adversity. There’s just no way out of it. Maybe they have a critical illness. Maybe their marriage is failing and they have a spouse that’s not willing to change. Maybe they, they have such poor coping and it’s going to take years to change. How can they start to build some resiliency so that the anxiety, the depression don’t overwhelm them while they endure this hard thing? For me personally, it was going to war. I had to go to war. I had a job to do. It was a life threatening. How could I endure without becoming overwhelmed by anxiety and without becoming depressed enough that I was actually unable to function and a danger to not only myself, but those I was serving with. And how could that on top of that? How then could I find some happiness in my life when I was having to endure this adversity?
Speaker 1 00:03:22 And so that’s why that’s why resiliency is so important in us to learn how to overcome it. And so I, this was one of my favorite ones and I love being able to share. I oftentimes, in these seminars, what I do is I do bring some pretty dramatic examples that I’ve gone through, as well as sharing other people’s examples. And we give the people a step by step approach on how they can start to build ring, uh, resiliency, how they can overcome anxiety to where it’s no longer has the capacity to overwhelm them and even start finding relief and healing from the depression that people feel when they become just overwhelmed. And so this is one of my favorite ones to do because it just changes lives, what a fun thing to do. So that’s kind of what the overview of the big picture of what we’re going to expect with the, uh, with the resiliency seminar that I’m putting on it.
Speaker 1 00:04:17 And, uh, you know, I’ve had many people, many people both come back from war, come back from, from a difficult marriage, uh, and talk about how this was the start of them being able to actually enjoy their life for the first time, in spite of all the adversity they have, the first time they’d ever been able to finally overcome their anxiety and not let it control them, or the first time they felt in years, a relief from the depression they’re feeling. So it’s just, it’s a game changer. I just absolutely love this one. It’s so much, so much fun to be able to make a difference in people’s lives.
Speaker 2 00:04:54 You know, as you’re describing that, um, for some reason the, um, the whole concept of the wage gap and the financial disparity, um, in our country, it keeps coming to my mind and I’m thinking how, how we’re focused on that, where, um, we’re saying some people have all the wealth and some people have none, and there’s this huge gap in between there. And I feel like we’re kind of, um, we’re, we’re fostering the same kind of gap in resiliency and not to pick on anyone in particular, but I see that there are some people who have this focus on just man up top and up, you know, um, be resilient. And, and sometimes they come across in somewhat of a harsh way about that. And then there’s a counter argument. Um, that’s, that’s advocating for safe spaces and we shouldn’t have to confront anything that offends us or anything that, um, is difficult in life.
Speaker 2 00:06:01 And it feels like there’s this huge gap in between those two concepts. And I see value in both of them. And I see errors in each of them. How do we bridge that gap? And am I even accurate in saying that that’s kind of similar to our, our wage gap, that there’s this disparity between, this feels like there’s this massive divide, and we’re trying to get along in life where we have to interact with other people. You mentioned marriage several times. And it feels like if people come from two different backgrounds where, where one was like really pushed and hardened and, and, you know, uh, just treated in a way that forced them to build resilience and the other was kind of coddled and, and all that, then that can make a, a marriage or a relationship difficult as well.
Speaker 1 00:07:01 Excellent point, you know, there is truth to that, to what you say there. And the point I want to reiterate is the safe place in anything to do with, uh, mental health is there’s going to be an extreme, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work hard, right? And then there’s going to be the other end of the extreme, which is eliminate any adversity. And either end of that extreme is extremely unhealthy. You know, that’s, that’s kinda like saying, saying, judging other people. It’s okay to, to judge as long as we’re in that middle ground, where we’re willing to hear both sides and willing to think about it. But if we’re on one end, Hey, I’m only this, or, Hey, I’m only that, that’s what racism, all these other types of, of bigotry, all that comes in is either end of the extreme, the middle is where we want to be.
Speaker 1 00:07:53 And it’s no different with this resiliency thing. Yes. There is a place to say, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, work harder. This is good, but there’s also a place to say, I need some time to find relief to recharge. Now, if you do one or the other, you know, we talked about, um, oftentimes for instance, the other over here, that’s what we talked about when we did our podcast on the queen bee. These are people, uh, men and women who want to just have nobody ever challenged them in life. And that we see just how it is pure emotion. They get away with it. And then you have those people who have no emotion. And they just say, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Well, the truth of the matter is there’s physiology in between here that needs to be looked at. And that’s part of what we’re going to talk about there is, is the physiology that goes on how somebody that is currently struggling can actually use a little bit of this and a little bit of this to build a really healthy place here.
Speaker 1 00:08:55 It’s it reminds me of the story. You know, there is this wives tale out there, um, a little lie that we all tell ourselves. And the idea is that person was so lucky. They were born confident. They were born with that trait. It was a congenital trait. They were just born with the confidence gene. I didn’t get that gene. And so, you know, I’m not one of the lucky ones, and that’s the why we tell ourselves the truth of the matter is there is a little bit of this, let me work through it and overcome it. And there’s a little bit of this. Let me be smart enough to find ways to avoid some of the adversity that I don’t need to do right now. And that’s where that confidence gene comes up. And that’s exactly what we teach in these resiliency seminars. And we do it in fact, I’ll I’ll um, uh, I’m sorry, how does that answer your question before I launch into a story I’m so excited to talk about. Does that answer your question?
Speaker 2 00:09:54 I think so, I’m very excited to hear your story, but basically you’re saying that that, um, the extremes are bad and w w regardless of the, so what side it is, and we really need to focus on a balanced approach and on, on that lie that you’re talking about, I think that, um, sometimes there’s, there’s a backup lie, you know, like, like lie plan B is that, Oh, well, if they weren’t born with it, it’s how they were raised. And I wasn’t fortunate to have that parenting. And so are you saying that well, first of all, I want to reiterate that, that focusing on resiliency, it sounds like can help you in your marriage and your work in basically your own personal life, but also in all relationships that you have to interact with, um, through life.
Speaker 1 00:10:49 Absolutely. The thing that involves adversity, anything, if there’s a Firstie involved, this resiliency that we’re going to teach you, it will help that. So you can overcome that and learn to enjoy your life in spite of it. So,
Speaker 2 00:11:04 So anyone from, um, walking age to potty training and, and beyond basically needs
Speaker 1 00:11:15 For a parent, you tell me if you’re a parent and I teach you how to somebody builds adversity, and I teach you how this helps you to overcome anxiety and depression. You tell me this won’t make you a better parent. You won’t be able to, because I’m going to tell you right now, I’ve had many, many, many, many parents come to me and say, thank you so much. I am such a better parent, thanks to your resiliency, uh, class that I took, I now know how to help my children to build the same thing. And so, so you’re right. In many times, there are parents who don’t teach their kids how to be in a certain area, just because there’s an area that a parent hasn’t taught their kids doesn’t mean they didn’t teach them resiliency in other areas. It just means, guess what? You’re not perfect.
Speaker 1 00:12:06 You’re neither Jesus, Buddha or Mohammad. So you’re not perfect. So there is an area you can improve, but it doesn’t make you a bad parent just because there’s an area you can improve. That makes you horrible. It makes you human. And so if, if you come to that realization that, yes, this was an area that I never learned. The parenting didn’t cover that, that doesn’t make them a bad parent. It means, guess what? They couldn’t cover everything all at once. That’s why it’s called growing up. And that’s why parenting is all about becoming a good enough parent and not a perfect interview.
Speaker 2 00:12:41 Right? And if your parents truly did fail you in teaching resiliency, or didn’t teach you as much as, um, maybe your life requires because life has changed, let’s face it. Our parents grew up in an area where a certain level of resiliency was probably very adequate for the challenges that they faced and for the barrage of information and digital connectedness that we have. And now are, my kids are certainly growing up where a situation, I feel that they will need more resiliency or more focus on resiliency than was required for me. And so I guess what I’m getting at is am I able to take the initiative now and say, well, then I’m going to develop the resiliency that I need and that I need to pass onto my kids, regardless of what I was born with, regardless of what my parents gave me.
Speaker 1 00:13:42 Yeah. And the simple answer is, yes, I’m in these seminars. I get, I get tons of, uh, I get tons of teenagers and early, early adulthood, Y one of the things about resiliency that work that we do in this course, we actually teach you how to build real self esteem. So I get tons of people who come in and they say, look, if I’m looking in the mirror and I’m really honest, I am not happy with what I see. I have a low self esteem. And so they come and they, they come out shocked and they say, I never knew you were going to give me a roadmap to building self esteem and confidence. And so we do get a lot of young kids, everything, I would say, you probably need to be 14, 13 or 14 years old, a mature 13 year old, or a 14 year old to be able to tolerate this any younger than that is probably not going to be great, but I do get a lot of them.
Speaker 1 00:14:36 And then I get the parents and they’ll come in, or sometimes just the parents or sometimes just to get, but the whole purpose there is they can see how this is going to benefit. And the parents, then they love it because they say, I can see how I can change just tiny little bits of my parenting so that this has a world of difference for my children. And I can be there. And they’re going to come out saying, Holy cow, I am now prime to be a success. Thanks to the way my parents taught me, thanks to how they helped me to develop resiliency, thanks to the support they were. And they knew when to push me. And they knew when not to. And that’s the, that’s the real thing. And they had examples and they could talk them through it and they can. So that’s where you can see why this is one of my favorite things to teach.
Speaker 1 00:15:23 Is it just from 14 on up? And I’ve had grandparents that came in grandparents that came in and said, no, this is for me. And then later they said, and I was able to help my kids when they called. And I was able to help my grandkids when they came crying, saying grandpa, grandma, and they were able to talk them through it. It reminds me of a story. Uh, uh, my mother was, uh, on a, on a church mission and their mission was to go out and, um, be in charge of a youth group in Utah. You call it an Institute. And what this is is college age students who, the, the religious, the church, there has a place where they can, the kids can comment. It’s a, it’s kinda like a YMCA for a religion. They have different sports and fun things they can do.
Speaker 1 00:16:12 They have some study rooms where they can study. But the thing that my parents ended up doing the most of was they would have these young college students coming in and it was in a different country and they would come in and they would just talk to them like it was talking to their grandma and their grandpa. And mom was just a wonderful person. She she’s been an educator for years and, and wonderful. And she would work with these people and they would come out and then they would say to her, how, how did you know to help me with I’ve gone from struggling in school to I’m happy in school. And, and I had a lot of long conversations with mom. She was, she was quite instrumental in me learning early on about this stuff. And then once I, I started putting in psychodynamic and, and my, my knowledge is a psychiatrist and a psychoanalyst.
Speaker 1 00:17:02 All of a sudden, it just exploded to where you get what we have today. But she told me she would oftentimes have these young men and young women come in and they were ready to quit. They, the thoughts of suicide had entered their mind. These, these were people who are doing it. And she didn’t. She said, I was very careful not to get mental health care, but what I did was support them enough to be able to help them to start to develop that resiliency. And by the end, suicide was not on their mind. They were no longer using self harm coping. They were no longer doing these things and they would come in and they would say, Oh, I am struggling today. But just like you told me, I know I can do this. I just need somebody to complain to. And she would say, Oh dear, come on.
Speaker 1 00:17:45 And she was often cooking for these, for these youth. One of the activities did, was they would cook food and they’d have these, these community dinners there. And she was a good come feel, these potatoes, why you tell me about it? And they would work right alongside her. And it got to the point. She said that sometimes there was a line of people waiting to help her cook because they needed to talk about this. And she was helping them with many of the principles we’re going to talk about and teach you. We’re going to go a lot more advanced than that, but she was able to help them because she had a lot of the knowledge that I’m sharing with these people. And she was able to judge build them up to the point that they would leave confident, happy building a self esteem. They’d gone from no self-esteem to now.
Speaker 1 00:18:31 They had established some, and they knew how to continue to build more. And she said, it was interesting. She watched these youth and many of them would come in dating a very unhealthy person. And as they started to improve, suddenly that relationship was no longer working out. And she watched them then find a very healthy person. They would start dating and they found such happy relationships. And she told me, I never once talked to them about who they were dating or that relationship when they became healthy, they started selecting a healthy relationship themselves. And it was all that resiliency. So you can just see how many things for a parent, a grandparent, or even that, that youngster, how this is just life changing.
Speaker 2 00:19:20 Wow. That’s awesome. Um, let’s jump into it then. Let’s, let’s give people a taste of what this three hour workshop is going to have. Obviously let’s get as much of that into this podcast as possible. We can’t cover it all, but what are some of the things that, um, that you can give people right now so that they can go out and actually improve their resiliency and get some benefit out of, out of just this podcast?
Speaker 1 00:19:49 Oh, very good. So, um, you know, one of the things I like to, and I’ve had people come back to me and say, you must always tell this story. So, uh, based on popular demand, I tell a story. So, um, I was a college student. Oh, probably. Uh, and well, I won’t worry about the age. I was a college student getting ready to apply for medical school. I had just decided I wanted to go to medical school. And so I had taken kind of a circuitous route to get there. And, um, as I was getting her to apply, uh, I had my first child, my first child was about two months old. And, uh, my wife, um, was there. I had, I had that. We were getting ready to apply to med school. And wouldn’t, you know, I was in the military in order to pay for college.
Speaker 1 00:20:36 I didn’t have enough money. My parents didn’t, I didn’t want to strap them with a bunch of debt to pay for my college. So I had joined the military when I was in high school and, and, uh, or shortly thereafter, excuse me. And, and then I went, um, and so I went and was in the military, had served for four years. They’d paid for college. I had been enlisted, I’d done ROTC. And that’s where I was. Well wouldn’t, you know, one of my friends came to me and he said, Hey, Hans, I need to talk to you. And he happened to work at the headquarters in there as one of the, um, administrative people. And he pulled me off to the side after we were, we were doing a training and he said to me, Hey, handsome heads up. Uh, this unit over here just got a call to go to Afghanistan.
Speaker 1 00:21:22 And I said, wow, thank goodness. I’m no longer in that unit. I’m glad I changed units. I, I, you know, and they said, well, there’s the rough. Um, they went to the general and they requested you specifically by name. And I grew up in a little farm town called Fillmore. And they said, Hey, so a farm town, you, you grow up in a community. You know, everybody, you work with everybody, you actually work on the farms. So you had to learn to think outside the box and solve problems and work with animals, which are all oftentimes require critical thinking. And what have you. And he said, yeah, the Colonel actually went to the general and said, I want to take hands. He’s a good Fillmore boy. And I said, no, I don’t want to go. And he goes, well, you really don’t have a choice.
Speaker 1 00:22:07 The general already gave the thumbs up. You’re headed to Afghanistan with this unit. I’m like, I left that unit for a reason at the time. I couldn’t see it. So here I go to Afghanistan and I’m an Intel officer at this time and I’m an Intel officer and we go there and we roll in and they tell me, don’t worry, you’re going to be, we’re going to be working with the Afghan army. And so you will have yourself and an interpreter and sometimes a Sergeant, an American Sergeant, and you’re going to live with this Afghan unit and essentially do what the green Berets usually do, which is teach them how to be, um, uh, better at their jobs. And I said, Oh, okay. I can do that. I’m, I’m quite a competent Intel officer. I’m I feel very confident. I have some extra training. I can do this.
Speaker 1 00:23:00 And so we’re turning up and the whole time, there’s actually this group of 16 guys who I’d grown comfortable with. I knew which ones I would, uh, I know which ones I would trust to do training and which ones I would probably want to be there because they may or may not be quite as competent as their peers. I, I knew who I trusted, who I didn’t all that stuff. So we train up for many months, um, and they send us into Afghanistan. The first day we get into Afghanistan. Wouldn’t, you know, they, they say, Oh, by the way, we’re glad you’re here. And we get to this little base in Kabul. And we were like, this is awesome. We can do this. They had a TV. They had, they had a w we actually, the first day we got there, they had these giant barbecues and we look out and there are T-bone steaks on the barbecue.
Speaker 1 00:23:50 And I’m like, what is this? And they’re like, Oh, this is dinner. And I’m thinking I can handle this. This is going to be okay. So we roll in there that night, they had lobster and steak for us to eat like an idiot. I’m thinking, this is the way it’s going to be. They’re giving us. And then that night something interesting happened. They came in and they just start giving us all kinds of really fancy wartime equipment. Like a, I had a little, the guns. They gave us, they gave us new attachment store. They had all these, they call them rails where you can put flashlights and all kinds of doodads and scopes and stuff, all hanging off your gun. Like you see the green Berets half. And I’m like, this is awesome. They’re giving us all kinds of equipment. Still not realizing why would they give us this equipment?
Speaker 1 00:24:37 This, they don’t give this equipment to the, every average soldier, what is going on here? And so, and I’m taking, we had steak and lobster and there were all kinds of vegetables and there’s all the soda. You can drink it. You know, just I’m feeling like this is good. They give us this stuff. And the next day they come in and they say, okay, good job. Alright, Lieutenant Watson. And I, at the time, I wasn’t a doctor. This was before medical school, of course. And they say, Lieutenant Watson, here’s your Sergeant here? And the Sergeant, Hey, good to meet you there, Sergeant here’s your interpreter. Alright, good to meet you, interpreter. This is your Afghan infantry company that you’re going to go out and fight alongside, and you’re going to kill or capture any terrorists in this entire state in Afghanistan. And I said, Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 00:25:26 I think there’s been a mistake. You see, I’m not an infantry officer. I’m an intelligence officer. I do Intel analysis. I do counter-intelligence interrogation, that type of thing. And they, they looked at me and they smiled and said, well, that could come in handy. Here’s your infantry company. Here’s your interpreter. This is your Sergeant. You’re to go out and kill and capture. And I said, Oh, I I’m sorry. I must not be communicating clearly. Just let me, let me explain. What’s going on here. You see I’m trained. And one of the top Intel officers, you’re going to meet in the country. I’m actually trained in human intelligence and they kind of did one of those. They hold up their hand to stop. You. That’s really good Lieutenant. Here’s your infantry company. Here’s your interpreter. Here’s your Sergeant. Now come over here. You’re going to sign for this machine gun and the equivalent of an <inaudible> there’s machine gun.
Speaker 1 00:26:24 On top of it, we’re giving you a scope that has infrared and as well as thermal imaging combined in one so that people can hide from you. That goes right on top. And I’m thinking I’ve never seen one of these much less, and you’re signing for an entire Humvee, armored Humvee, and inside it, you’re signing for the satellite stuff. And I’m thinking, wait a minute, this was my new role. So number one, not only had you pulled me away from my wife and my new child, you’d stopped me from applying to medical school. Something that I’d want a very bad day. I had already taken the end cats for crying out loud. Then you stop. You take me and you say, okay, we’re going to put you into a foreign country. You’re now going to be not living with Americans with Afghans. You’re going to be fighting in a job that you aren’t trained specifically to do.
Speaker 1 00:27:18 And so you’re going to do it. And we’re pulling you away from those 16 people you had trained with. I didn’t know the Sergeant. I met him for the first time and all of this. If you screw up, you lose your life. Now you tell me that’s not adversity. You tell me that. And here’s the, here’s the rub in our seminar. And then we can’t go into it much more because of time. But you tell me what kind of adversity was I staring down now, knowing I had a four month old child at home. This was not a game. This was really deadly. People were dying. People were getting blown up. People were dying, people were doing it. And sometimes it was from the Afghans having a Taliban member who had joined the military, just waiting for their chance to kill an American. So I had to worry about the Afghans.
Speaker 1 00:28:06 Then I had to worry about us getting attacked. Then I had to worry about just the danger of roadside bombs and my wife’s home. Spoiler alert. We, we ended up being pushed out that one day of eating steak and lobster. That was our one day we were gone the next day. And I’m out in the middle of nowhere, living with just the Afghans. And I didn’t get to call home about every six weeks. I get a shower about every three weeks. I’m wearing body armor and doing dismounted patrols. And I am just going crazy. We get through, we run out of food that we could tolerate. So we had to start eating the Afghan food. Of course, I get sick there, there were just so many things that happened here. You tell me which one of those were adversity. Was it that my, I had missed that I was no longer able to talk to my wife.
Speaker 1 00:28:59 What was it that I knew that I had a brand new baby at home and a wife at home. And that I was in one of the most dangerous jobs in all of Afghanistan and all of the war. Was it that, that I no longer got to talk to them? Was it that I didn’t get showers? And for me a shower is a big deal. That’s where I worked through a lot of my problems. That’s my Zen zone. Very worked through my problems. And now I don’t get every three weeks. And I’m dismounted patrol sweaty every day. You can just feeling grimy and dirty, or was it that now I had all these people’s lives under my hands that I had to had to help them with. And I was expected to train them how to be better. And I was a trained Intel, not infantry officer, tell me which of these Jerem, which one do I choose as adversity? And this wasn’t even the worst of it in the seminar. I’m going to tell you how it got 10 times worse. And I’ve done a lot of talking. Tell me, tell me which one of those should I focus on first?
Speaker 2 00:29:56 Well, I don’t think that you can, um, compartmentalize like that. It’s all adversity. You have to, to be able to handle all of it. And I mean, tell me if I’m wrong, but I come from a, a lot of people don’t know, but I had cancer when I was 14. Um, my leg was amputated. I almost died several times and then got into adaptive sports where other amputees and other people with paralysis and different things come and, and compete against each other and skiing and rock climbing, different things. And one of the things that was always interesting to me is that people would always sit around and tell their stories and you’d hear what happened to get other people into the situation they were in. And everybody was sitting here saying, Oh, wow, I could never handle that. I could never survive what you went through, but they’re looking back saying the same thing too.
Speaker 2 00:30:50 You know, somebody got ran over by a train is saying, Oh, I can never go through cancer for three years and, and do this when I was this age. And they’re saying, Oh, I can never be hit by a train and get totally mangled and left there for hours before anybody found me. And so I think the, the message I’m hearing is that resiliency, um, can, can kind of, it can get you through things that you didn’t think you could ever make it through until you’re actually faced with it. But it sounds like everything that you’re saying is all, all resiliency. And I don’t think that, um, or that it’s all a challenge. I don’t think that you can just pick out one thing and say, yeah, I’ll be good. If I can just deal with that. Everything else can still crush me. But, uh, you know, it’s, it’s shocking and is sad. Um, the, the rate of suicide that has gone up with the common pressure that we have in our nation right now with COVID-19 and with a lot of things that are happening, we’re seeing a lot of people not having the resiliency to, to carry on through these new unexpected trials that they’re facing. And so let’s go back to your unexpected trials there. And if we do have time to talk about just one of them, um, that sounds like an awful lot to me.
Speaker 1 00:32:27 It was an awful lot. And, and if, you know, if we did,
Speaker 2 00:32:33 It did get to the point where I was overwhelmed. I started to experience some depressive symptoms.
Speaker 1 00:32:41 It got pretty severe, and I realized really quickly, if I don’t do something, this is going to start affecting my ability to be able to successfully operate in war time. And if I don’t do something, it is going to result in me getting killed. And so I had to start to try something. And, and I honestly, to be honest with you, it got to the point where I didn’t feel connected with these Afghans. They were so different and I didn’t feel connected with this mission. It wasn’t what I was trying to do. I did it, of course, I worked with these Afghans. I put my life on the line next to them. I did the mission because that’s what I was expected to do. And I took my responsibility very seriously. But what did that do to me, even though I hadn’t quit, it started to beat me down to lower and lower to where it got to the point that I started losing my appetite.
Speaker 1 00:33:37 I wasn’t sleeping. These are not good things when you need to be alert and aware in combat. And so, and so I had to find a way, and that’s what we’re going to teach that we don’t have time today. Cause, uh, it’s hard to fit everything I have in a three hour seminar. Oftentimes we go over, but that is exactly what we’re going to be talking about. There are specific things that you can do and you can come in and start saying, okay, here we go. Here we go. Step one, step two, step three. And you can do this. And the neat thing is you don’t have to overcome everything. Once you overcome that first step, it gives you a little confidence and you can use that confidence to give you energy and strength to attack the second thing. And then once you overcome that second thing, you’re now going to have a little more confidence in your drops of confidence in your confidence jar.
Speaker 1 00:34:36 This imaginary confidence generally, you know, think of the old oil in the lamps that the old proverb from the Bible tells us a little more. And pretty soon once you’ve gotten three or four and all of a sudden you’re starting to get more confidence. That confidence becomes the entire foundation of self esteem, because now you’ll say, yeah, I screw up and there’s a lot wrong with me, but do you realize what I’ve overcome already? Do you realize I’m somebody who overcomes what’s difficult now suddenly can you see how you’re building resiliency? That results in confidence, which is the foundation for self-esteem, which is the opposite of being depressed and anxious. And so that’s how we’re going to do it. We’re also going to talk about anxiety. We’re going to talk about what’s going on the neurobiology of anxiety in your brain and how we can undo that.
Speaker 1 00:35:29 It’s really, really a powerful thing. It’s, there’s so much packed in there. Normally I could do, if you gave me two days, we could fill two days with this. Normally we have to power back it into a couple of hours, simply because there’s just not enough time to do all the different seminars that people need and the difference we can do. So, so we pack it in there and we give people the tools they need to. But if you look at it, you’ll hear here, I’ll jump to the end in Afghanistan. I did start to find the way something I could enjoy. And that one thing I could enjoy led to people wanting to do that fun thing with me. I made some friends, Afghan friends that led to suddenly us understanding each other better. I soon developed relationships that were wonderful. I look back and just, I’m so grateful.
Speaker 1 00:36:24 I got to get to know and love these, these people, these Afghan people that allowed me to feel safe enough with them to where they were with me. And we’re in the stinking, uh, countryside, interacting with the people. And they’re helping me say, this is a good group of people. Let’s go interact with them. And I got to experience the culture and learn to love the culture in Afghanistan. And other times they’d say, it’s not safe here. We are not interacting with the, with the culture here. And these were the locals who knew what was safe and what wasn’t. And so just from that, and it got to the point where I accomplished things that nobody else had. And in fact, it’s funny you say that because as we came back over, we all got to come back in for Christmas. Um, from the field that all my friends had been, those 60 they’d been scattered out.
Speaker 1 00:37:15 And there was about six of us that were stationed on the tiny little base, the fog where we were there in Qubole. And we all got back in on Christmas Eve and it was an quite an emotional time to see these brothers of mine. I hadn’t seen. And we got together and we talked and it was amazing how, as we were telling each other stories, essentially we were working through in a safe, trusted environment. We were processing terrible things that we had had to endure in war time. And we started working through it, which increases resiliency. And as we did that, it was amazing. Like for instance, I had one where there was a police station where we get a call at four in the morning. I hear this little knock on my door and the interpreter girls, sir, they are shooting. And we said, what, sir?
Speaker 1 00:38:02 They are shooting. And I said, Oh, okay. Just tell him. And I was thinking, he was saying, the Afghans want to test fire. One of the weapons they’ve just repaired. No, no, no, no, sir. They are shooting. They’re attacking. And we said, what is he talking about? And finally he said, sir, at the police station and he named the little town it’s called NERC, the police station and NERC, the Taliban are shooting and killing all the people. They need our help. They are, they are dying. And I was like, Oh, they’re under attack. And so I woke, my Sergeant said, dude, NERC police station, they’re under attack. They’re going to die if they don’t. And he was like, give me five minutes. I’m ready to roll. And the five minutes was to put the machine gun on the truck, you know, to put bullets in there.
Speaker 1 00:38:45 And the Afghans were already lined up. They were ready to go. And we were the only ones we were like, why didn’t somebody wake us earlier? You know? And we use that as a learning opportunity a later. So we roll out there and we get there and there was a bunch of people shot up. And so I rolled in and I said to my Sergeant, you’ve got to put a tourniquet on that man’s leg. We re first we repelled the, the attack. We repelled the attack. Then we said, you’ve got to put a turn to kind of like, I’m going to go see this other guy that shot in the calf. And so we started doing medical triage and I wasn’t a doctor. I just received some first aid courses and the Sergeant. Okay. And he ended up putting it on. I went and looked at this other guy, the bleeding is stopped.
Speaker 1 00:39:24 He was shocked, clean through the, the calf. We worried about that. So then it was get them to get them to medical care and that type of stuff. And so we did that. And so we come back on this Christmas Eve, we were all there and they said, what, what story do you? And I told them that story, and these guys all said, Holy cow, I couldn’t do that hands. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you endure this. This is tough. Well then what does battle tell next battle tells us a story where they knew there was a trail at the low end of the mountain where the Taliban would come in attack and run out. So he said, we went halfway up the mountain and we set in to ambush them when they were coming. And they had received Intel that they were going to come along this bottom trail and attack them.
Speaker 1 00:40:07 Well, wouldn’t, you know, that day he said, we sat in there, we got hidden. We were in there and they started coming down and we started shooting. And then suddenly we would notice pop, pop, pop around us. Well, the Taliban had seen them coming in or somehow been tipped off. Well, there were people on the top of the mountain now shooting down. And there were the people that had been ambushing. We’re now shooting up. So these guys were now being ambushed. He tells me they actually started to converge the Taliban to overrun them and kill them all. So what did he do? He had to call mortars in, on his exact location. So he would call a mortar in and they would say, that’s danger close to you and say, we’re dead either way. So he would call mortars in. And what he would do is he’d say they would shoot the first one in and he would call it on his exact location.
Speaker 1 00:40:56 And as he would tell them, tell me when you’re going to fire, I need 10 seconds heads up and they give him 10 seconds heads up. So he, when he said, they said 10 seconds are firing. He would yell now and all of his Afghans, and then they would jump up and just start running back towards the base. And as these Afghan, these Taliban came to envelop and to overrun them, they would now come into the place where they were. These guys just were, and they were just running back to the base and mortars were landing where they were and killing some of these Afghan Taliban in the place. And as soon as the first round would hit, he said, we’d hit the deck. We’d just, we would just hit the ground. That way. Shrapnel was left, likely to hit us and more likely to hit the Taliban.
Speaker 1 00:41:40 And then as soon as they do that, they call in their new grid square because the Taliban would sit down for just a second. They said, we had about a minute before. They’d be like, okay, I think they’ve stopped shooting. And then they would get up and try to develop them again. So they’d repeat this. And he called in his new grid square, and they’d say 10 seconds. And he’d yell now and he’d get up. And they just start running. And he said, they were shooting at us, but we were dead if we didn’t do this. And so they had to be walked back in with mortars and he tells me, and I could never do what you did, which is go in there and do that medical care for me, the medical care, I was already thinking I wanted to be a doctor. This was what I wanted to do for him to do the mortars.
Speaker 1 00:42:20 That was no big deal, but the medical care, I could never stand to do that. And it was interesting how we each had resiliency in a different area and we eat, tend to build resiliency in a new area. And so this is the kind of thing we’re going to use to show you and to point it out to people just because somebody’s good at something. And you have resiliency in one area, doesn’t mean that you’re not going to have to learn in a different area. And it’s not as hard to learn. It’s just hard to do the, the work that allows you to build that resiliency, but we give you a game plan that makes it doable. And so, uh, you know, even though we don’t have time to do much more, these are the stories to where just like you were talking about, yes, this person got through this and this person, you know, one of them had cancer and had his leg amputated.
Speaker 1 00:43:08 Another one was hit by a train. I’m sure there was others. Or, or whether it’s this guy had to deal with the horrors of people that were injured and, and killed in war. And this one had the horrors of being attacked and having call in mortar, fire on their own position and still other things. And each of us is uniquely placed into a position where we can succeed. And that’s the cool thing is I teach you how you can succeed regardless of where you’re placed, where you don’t have to, you don’t always have to run away. Sometimes we’ll teach you so you can distinguish when is it appropriate to run? And when is it not? Because if I had to, we’ve told battle, just stay there and fight. He would have been massacre. That was an appropriate time to run. My time was not appropriate. So these are the things we’re going to teach and, and, and what have you.
Speaker 2 00:44:00 Awesome. Awesome. Um, it’s reminded me of a quote that I, I’m not 100% sure on the origin. So I’m going to say a known, but, um, as you’re talking about building that resiliency, you mentioned something about it doesn’t necessarily make the thing easier. And the quote, if I can remember it properly, I’ll probably butcher it, but it said something to the effect that that, which we persist in doing becomes easier for us. Not because the nature, the thing has changed, but because our capacity has increased and I’ve always thought that such a powerful quote, that that wife can get easier, but never because you just asked for it to be easier. Oh, just, just, just make my life easier. I think all of us ask at times why, why can’t life just be a little bit easier? Why is it so hard? And I’m getting the impression that that life can be easier.
Speaker 2 00:45:05 It can be more enjoyable. It can be something that we can handle, um, without so much stress and anxiety, some depression, some of those things that you mentioned, but only through us increasing our own capacity to handle life as it is, because life itself is only going to get harder. And so we need to get stronger. And, um, I was, my son was showing me a gym yesterday after we swam, he really wants to get in a gym and wants to lift weights. And I grabbed this a 70 pound, um, barbell, or, and, um, I picked it up and set that on the floor. I was like, okay, can you pick this up? And he’s sitting there with both hands just trying to lift this. And it was like, it was welded to the floor. It was really fun to see, but, uh, he was like, wow, how can you do that, dad? And I was like, it wasn’t easy for me, but I was like, yeah, I can lift a 70 pound weight with one hand. And, um, you know, someday my child will get to that point that, that he’ll be able to do this as well. And, um, so really seems to be what it’s all about is us increasing our strength and making it to the point that, that, uh, the weight that we do have to lift is easier for us. Not that it’s gotten any lighter, just that we’ve gotten stronger.
Speaker 1 00:46:35 And it’s amazing how much easier it gets when somebody teaches you the correct form and way to do it. The plan we give our people is what allows them to overcome adversity with half the effort that it would normally need. Right? It’s amazing. The old saying work smarter, not harder. That’s what our goal is. Our goal is to teach you and give you the clothes to say, if you do it this way, that, that same amount of weights,
Speaker 2 00:47:07 Right? It’s almost like applying a lever. Now, all of a sudden, it’s like, Oh, you could lift way more because now you have the tool that gives you leverage and it gives you a strategic advantage.
Speaker 1 00:47:19 And that’s where we come in. We come in and we teach exactly this. We teach you how to maximize your, your, the neurology, the biology, and the psychology, so that you come away ready to do it. And then we teach you how to use that strength you’ve built in the future so that you come in already being the big, strong muscle man. The next time somebody throws adversity to everyone, they throw out and they say, here’s a 40 pound dumbbell. You’re going 40. I’m used to 70. This doesn’t even phase me, you know? And now what has changed. And so that’s where I’m so excited. And I’m really excited for this resiliency seminar. We have coming up, the people that come they’re good, they’re going to get a tree. This might is my gut impression. They’re going to come away going Holy cow. And it’s, it’s not only entertaining.
Speaker 1 00:48:09 It’s fun. We do interactive. But on top of all that it is life changing. And how do I know that? Because I’ve heard it hundreds, maybe even thousands of times from the people who I’ve done this for the military has been very fortunate. They got this for free for years, for years. The, the it’s amazing to me, how many times I hear the kids coming back, repeating the point of my story saying, you know, one of them is I’m going to teach you and we don’t have time today. I’m going to teach you how to find your torch. And it’s amazing to me, how many kids I see in there. And I would see them just in the grocery store and they would say, Hey, sir, sir, sir. And I, Oh, Hey, can I help you? You know, I don’t know who they are. And they say, I came to that talk.
Speaker 1 00:48:55 You gave, and they’re talking about the resiliency seminars that I put on. And they said, I just want you to know. I found my torch and I have never been happier. Thank you so much for helping me to find a torch. And I tell him, thanks. And half of the time the kids will say, can I give you a hug? Oh, okay. All right. You know, it’s life changing. And this is why we’re so excited. And, um, and this is why if you’re, if you’re somebody who realizes I’m not up to my full potential or even doubts, you have a potential come to these resiliency seminars, let’s teach you that you do have a potential. Let’s give you the tools to overcome what, what things are there and, and give you the tools to become your best self that’s. The idea is I make you so good.
Speaker 1 00:49:42 You no longer need mental health care. And if you do, it’s not going to be to do everything. It’s just to fine tune something. And so, so they can do that. Jeremy, why don’t you tell them about our upcoming, uh, upcoming, uh, seminar, where we’re so excited about this? When I can’t tell you what a fun thing is going to be? Absolutely. So the best way to get all the information is to go to university elite.com/live. And first you’re going to see our, um, our marriage retreat, which is happening on August. First down below the marriage retreat is the information on the resiliency seminar. That’s going to be on July 31st. The one that we’re talking about right now, and typically
Speaker 2 00:50:28 Your prices hands are $300 an hour for one on one counseling. And this seminar, we’re looking at three plus hours. So we’re basically looking at $8,000. If we were to get this one on one with you right there. Um, I know you typically offer this three hour seminar for $500. And for this particular one, if you’re interested in able to come on July 31st, um, you can find out, uh, any ongoing seminars that we have at that URL that I gave earlier. But, uh, for this particular one on the 31st we’re giving a 90% discount. We’re only charging 10% of that price is $50 to attend the full workshop. And the reason for that, just so everybody knows is that we will be filming this to create an online course so that this can be available to more people who can’t attend. And they will be paying about $500 for that, for the online version, but because we will be filming it, we’ll need to have you sign a media release form in case you show up for a second here or there, and it shows your face on that.
Speaker 2 00:51:43 And, um, we would also like a testimonial when you’re leaving. And so we’re offering a massive discount on that. Basically just covering our costs to, um, put this all together, to bring Dr. Watson out from Montana, to Lehigh, Utah, where this will be held. And, um, that will be in the evening of July 31st. So coming up pretty soon, you can register for that at that URL university, elite.com forward slash live. And you can also check out the marriage retreat, which is a full day retreat the next day. And, um, you can register for both of those there, if you’d like, there’s just going to be, um, really incredible information on both of those. And both of them are really going to, um, increase your capacities for every situation in life. So if you’re married, please check out the marriage retreat as well. If you have kids or you feel like you need more resiliency in your own life, if life just feels like it’s been getting hard, it’s been getting you down during all the coronavirus stuff that has been affecting so many people in so many ways, um, then invest $50 in yourself for this and, uh, come be with us on the 31st, check it out and see what you can do.
Speaker 2 00:53:09 Will you tell them about how we’re limiting the space so that we, yeah.
Speaker 2 00:53:14 Yup. Yeah. So, um, I mentioned coronavirus restrictions that is in place right now at the time of us booking the space that this be done in. And so we have, um, social distancing restrictions where, where we need to honor that and make sure that it’s safe for people to be in the same space, but not crowded and not too close to each other. We need room to, um, get around with cameras and to get different shots and things. So, um, we’re going to be making sure that the safe, that, uh, that there’s room and that everything is comfortable for you there, that, uh, that, that means that we have to pay full price for a larger space and limit the number of attendees who are able to, um, to come into that. So, um, it is limited to, um, 40 participants and maybe even less, because that actually hands, I need to talk to you about, um, we’re able to take 40 couples for the marriage retreat, but they told us that the couples can sit together because they’re arriving, they’re coming in the same car together. They sleep in the same bed together. Um, for the resiliency workshop, we might have to space that out a little bit more. So, um, that may be limited to 30, even 20 people that were able to take in that workshop.
Speaker 1 00:54:45 So if you’re interested in this, get in early, that’s the that’s the point he’s making is, is once it sells out, it sells out guys. I’m so excited to come back to Utah. This is my home state. This is home for me. And I love to, I love to participate back home and do this for people. Uh, I don’t have a lot of time. I’m flowing around the nation to give a lot of these seminars, to people, to train actual therapists, to do some of the advanced stuff I’m doing. And so there’s not this isn’t going to be as common as some people might hope. Um, these are kind of, uh, these are kind of when they’re there, you gotta jump on them, cause you don’t know when they’re coming back. Um, and so, uh, I would encourage you if you’re interested, this is, this is something you’re going to want to do, and you’ll probably never see these prices again, this is, this is a, a onetime deal that I think many people are going to realize Holy cow. Um, that was, that was the best deal I could have ever gotten.
Speaker 2 00:55:46 Awesome. Great. Well, thank you, dr. Watson, I’m excited for all of this. Again, go to university.com new university, elite.com forward slash live for all our live events and, uh, get registered early because space is limited and it’s going to fill up quick. Thank you.
Speaker 1 00:56:06 Bye now.

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